By Sam Anglum and Finn West
First year Camilla is confused. Her downstairs neighbors constantly ask her to stop re-organizing her furniture. Unbeknownst to both of these parties, the noise they hear is the resounding echo of skateboards in the garage.
A Fourth year living In North Village hears people rolling around downstairs and turns over restlessly in bed, thinking “when will they fucking stop.” And a second later, “why the fuck am I still living in the Villages.”
Meanwhile, in the garage, a cluster of skaters gather next to the entrance of the trash room. Someone is trying to take out some recycling. But their path to complete this simple chore is hindered by a bulwark of sweaty shoulders.
Someone else walks through the door to the garage from the North Village lobby intending to go pick up groceries. However, as they enter the garage, they realize that their errand will be interrupted by a large wooden box preventing them from backing out. They start their car, and wait patiently as a lanky, blonde-haired youth in a World Industries sweatshirt removes the obstacle. They back out of the parking spot. But just then they notice the maze of skaters, bent signs and metal rails, still clustered in front of the garage exit.
“Every fucking time,” they think.
On behalf of everyone who skates in the garage, we’d like to apologize to anyone who lives in North Village that we may have kept from sleeping or studying in the past… We understand that it can get loud when we skate in the garage, but it never stops raining around here by the time it’s November and we don’t get much exercise otherwise. While a lot of Quest’s athletes spend time training for and competing in real sports that people are allegedly passionate about, a select few use the parking garage as their main site for athletic activity.
So again, we’re sorry for disturbing you in the past, and for any future inconveniences.
…Our bad ya’ll,